so Gilly!

Watch Your Step

Posted on 01. Aug, 2010 by gilly in Coach's Wisdom

If I had $10 for every time a client asked, or wailed: “but how do I know if I’m making the right decision?” I’d be rich. In any kind of coaching this is a perennial question.

In life too.

Early this morning, the stunning, perfectly fit men, sporting chic sunglasses, photogenic miniature dogs (typically crossbreeds between Yorkshires, Poodles, Bichons and other adorable throw pillows) and 2-seater vintage cars—Alfa spiders, MG’s, early 70’s Karmann Ghia’s—were out on 2-Mile Hollow beach. Most were lovingly toweling the sand off their Yorkoodles, or engaging in impromptu banter with other gorgeous men. This New Yorker cartoon-worthy scene on one of my favorite beaches always makes me gleeful. Don’t ask me why, maybe because it’s an apt reminder that we should all just play more in life.

Accustomed to being one of the rare women on the scene, I politely hello’d my way by, trotting towards the waterline to run on the edge of the beach.

There is a specific band of sand at the water’s edge that’s ideal for running—not too mushy and just firm enough. The jogger’s challenge is staying on this strip while avoiding the waves lapping at one’s shoes. It is a constant dance, away from the water towards the softer sand, which is at a slight incline, and back again. With today’s erratic waves, I negotiated an elegant zigzag, requiring dozens of nimble, real-time, ad-hoc adjustments.

Just as in life.

In such moments, no one can advise you. You alone must gauge where the edge of the wave will rise, how quickly to sprint sideways, or whether you can accelerate forward in time to miss the wave’s reach.

It occurred to me that we need to exercise this subtle combination of flash-prediction, intuition and dexterity, in so many domains (and in real time!): office politics, relationships, investments, even child-rearing challenges. What’s too much, too little, too fast, too slow, too soon or too late?

There are times, like today, when glancing at a seagull halved my concentration and I was suddenly, jarringly, ankle deep in cold water. I let out something of a damsel-in-distress yelp, which hopefully only the seagull heard, and bounced onto higher, drier ground. There was now water trapped in my socks, squishy and annoying and… I carried on. Definitely not so comfortable running with seawater in my shoes but, ultimately, manageable. I knew the water would evaporate as soon as I’d put the shoes in the sun, and they’d be dry by tomorrow, no biggie.

Life is full of split-second decisions. Instances where you just need to think without thinking, as Malcolm Gladwell puts it. Sometimes you make a decision that hits the nail on the head, sometimes you miss the mark. Welcome to the human race. In moments when you “take your eye off the ball,” there’s obviously a chance something could happen, and yes, something you cannot control and…So what? Who said you can’t run with wet socks?

Only you can make your decisions, call those shots, cauz’ no one will ever know better than you whether they are right or wrong. What matters is: you’ll know whether they are the right ones for you.